to post two blogs within about an hour of each other?
I guess thats not really my point.
you're brought back but you're running
I'll find sleep in the end tonight
I can't shake this little feeling
I'll never get anything rightI think I've had enough time now to be able to say honestly what's been bothering me so much lately. I've been thinking a lot, about too many things, and some people have noticed that something was bothering me. But really up until now, I didn't even know. And I'm still trying to sort a lot of things out myself. But at least now I have a start.
First of all, there's a lot of things that I've kindof just ignored and pushed to the side, and it's been ok until now, but I have to face those things now. Not necessarily in a bad way, but it's come to a point where I've pushed so much to the side, that it's all piled up now and waiting for me. I've tried to forget so many things, but I haven't taken the time to sit down and sort them out for myself. I have all these things now, piled up, and they're all pulling me in a million different directions, and I just haven't known what to do, or that there was anything that needed to be done, for that matter. I guess this is a part of growing up, and I've got so much to think about. I have to be honest with myself in all of these situations, and that's going to be hard for me, but the hardest thing out of all of this, is letting go. Because there's so many of those things that I haven't taken the time to deal with, and up until now i've thought it ok to push them aside, but I have to let go of things. Things that are in the past, that I thought I was ok with. Situations i don't have any closure in, but I thought were resolved. Honestly, I just don't know what to do, but I'm going to try my hardest to settle things for myself. I don't really know what spurred this all, but once again, I guess that's not the point. I've been really indecisive about a lot lately, and I've depended too much on everyone else's point of view to the point that mine has become basically nonexistant. I feel like I'm about to blindfold myself and run full speed through rush hour traffic. I just don't even know where to start, and even if I did, where do I go from there? I just don't even know. All I know is that there are a lot of things I need to think long and hard about and decide if they're worth persuing. I feel like I've been giving a hundred and fifty percent into every, and it's finally catching up with me. I just need to let go of a lot of things. I need to accept the past for what it is, and I need to work on moving foward with my life.
So take the photographs and still frames in your mind,
Hang them on a shelf in good health and good time.I hope that all of this has made the slightest bit of sense.
