twothousandandseven

2007 In The Beginning...

Where did you bring in the New Year?:
At my mom's church. They had a New Years Eve service.

Who were you with?:
The pentecostals.

Did you kiss anyone at midnight?:
Definitely not.

Did you make any resolutions?:
No.

2007 Your Love Life...


Did you break up with anyone?:
We weren't dating, but it was worse than a breakup.

Did you get anything for Valentine's day?:
A hersheys kiss rosebud from Miss Pizzuti.

Did you meet anyone special?:
Yeah.

Did you fall in love?:
Yes.

Are you still in love?:
No.

2007 Friends and Enemies...


Did you meet any new friends this year?:
Meagan, Cass, Josh, Kristen, Hayden, Philip, Mel, Grayson, Hayley, and a ton more.

Did any of your friendships end?:
Not really end, but I've grown apart from a lot of people.

Did you dislike anyone?:
Yeah.

Did you make any new enemies?:
Probably.

Did you resolve any fights?
Yeah.

Who were your closest friends?:,
Kristen, Meagan, Rachel, Courtney, Denton, Susan, Cass, Ashley, Eishlay

Who did you grow apart from?:
Andrea.

Do you have any regrets when it comes to your friendships?:
Not really. I regret not making up with some people.

2007 Your BIRTHDAY!!!


How old did you turn?:
18.

Did you have cake?
Yeah.

What did you do for your birthday?
I met a lot of my friends at waffle house, but I don't really remember much of it.

Did you have a party?:
Yeah, we had a bonfire, and roasted hotdogs and marshmallows.

Did you get any presents?:
Mostly money.

If so what was the best thing you got:
I got to spend time with my closest friends.

2007 All about you...


Did you change at all this year?:
Yeah, for the better i guess.

Did you dye your hair?:
Nope.

Did you get your hair cut?
Yeah.

Did you change your style?:
Not really.

Were you in school?:
Yeah.

Did you get good grades:
Mostly, this past semester has been rough though.

Did you have a job?:
Yeah over the summer, but I quit.

Did you drive?:
All the time.

Did you own a car?:
'99 Ford Ranger.

Did anyone close to you give birth?:
Becca Bradshaw.

Did you move at all?:
No.

Did you go on any vacations?:
Mostly small trips to Charleston, Myrtle Beach, Folly Beach, and Edisto. Went with the family to the mountains twice.

Did you leave the country at all?:
Nope.

Would you change anything about yourself now?:
No.

2007.....Wrap Up.


Is 2007 a good year?:
I've had some bad times, but overall it's been amazing.

Did 2007 bring any new insights?:
Definitely.

Do you think 2008 will top 2007?:
Most definitely.

Do you have any goals for 2008?:
Get a job, save up some money, open a bank account, get a better cell phone provider, pay my own bills, move out, make it into the School of Music at USC, and a ton more.
I think I'm going to make a master list.

If you could relive any moment which would you choose?:
Any of the after hours dance parties. Those have been fun.

We're just tired of changing like seasons

So, I'm writing this right now, because it's 5.30 in the morning, and I don't think I'll ever do it if I don't do it now. So here goes. Tonight was super fun, and I don't think much could compare, and you probably would have had to have been there. And you probably were.
So, Secret Lives was amazing. Better than I could've ever dreamed. Through their whole set, the whole crowd was like a mob, and I honestly can't think of a better word to describe it right now than amazing. You would've thought that they were Jesus or something, by the response from everyone. It was an incomparable experience.
So, after that some stuff happened and I ended up at waffle pernty with Courtney, Denton, Haley, Meagan, Cass, Josh, a girl I just met [who goes to my school but i've never met before... wierd.] named Rachel, ironically. So we're all at waffle house, which was fun as always. Everyone ends up leaving except for me and Mel, and of course Charlie was there with his friends, so we ended up sitting outside waffle pernty listening to Charlie on some crazy instrument like a banjo? and Mel on guitar, singing and everything was just perfect, and I closed my eyes, listening to them singing and the music, and remembered that this is what I live for. Nothing more, nothing less.
I love these times.

Attraversiamo

I just flipped through Eat. Pray. Love and read all of the quotes that I underlined, and cried.
I think it's time I read that book again.
It would be good for me.

"There's nothing you can ever do to lose my love. I will protect you until you die, and after your death I will still protect you. I am stronger than Depression and I am braver than Loneliness and nothing will ever exhaust me."

I'm dreaming

of a white Christmas...

This has by far been the most eventful Christmas I've ever had. I've felt every emotion there is and all for different reasons. I've gone from being apathetic yesterday about the whole holiday, and not being in the Christmas spirit, to feeling genuinely sick for how corrupt everything has become. I've spent time with people who are family but not friends, and people who are so close to me that they basically are family. Family in a good way. I've felt greedy and spoiled, and been humbled. I've been brought to the verge of tears knowing that some of my really close friends are spending Christmas alone, not with family or friends. And knowing that I can't be with them because I'm spending time with my own family. I've felt really small the past few days because of the multitude of emotions that have consumed me. I haven't really had time to sit and contemplate, or talk to anyone about any of this. I spent my Christmas Eve with family who are distant from me, feeling like an outsider in my own grandparent's house. These are people who can't tell each other 'I love you' without feeling awkward. After that, i was somewhat depressed. After opening presents at the house this morning, we went to my other grandparents house, which is on the whole other side of the spectrum. We ate really good food, and talked a lot. Grandma read the Christmas story out of the bible to all of us, like she always does. And everything felt perfect then, in that one moment. I've received more gifts than I deserved, and been humbled by it, because I didn't really get a whole lot of anything, and I know that there are a lot of people who got less for Christmas than I did. All this is too much, I need simplicity right now.
I've learned a lot this Christmas season, and I continue to be humbled by it. Every Christmas, receiving presents have meant a little less to me, and spending time with the people I love has meant a little more. I'm growing to realize that no matter who you are, Christmas should be about family and friends, and spending time with the people you love. Gifts are nice, and I appreciate everything I received, but I'm more thankful for the time I've gotten to spend with my friends and family. I've spent time with close family, and even closer friends. Tonight I went to waffle house with Meagan, Cass, Josh, and Haydn. I'm growing to love these kids more and more each day, and they're becoming big parts of my life. These are the people who I live with. I live day by day, hanging out with them, and spending time with them. It's almost too good to be true. I love my friends more than anything, and I wouldn't change them for the world. I'm genuinely content where I am right now. I feel alive, and loved, and infinite, more often than not, and that's a good feeling.
I live for this, to live, love, and be loved.
I live for these moments.
I couldn't have asked for a better experience than the one I've had this Christmas. I hope I never forget it, and I hope I never forget that above everything, love is what Christmas boils down to,
and recognizing the people who mean the world to you.

Will you regret?

Yesterday I asked my mom if when I move out, if I never go back to church, will she regret pushing me to go to church to the point that the thought of it disgusts me.
And she said no. No, she's not going to regret pushing me to go to a church that is so similar to a cult, that it's scary. She's not going to regret forcing this all down my throat. She's not going to regret any of this because she's brainwashed. There are some things going on in that church that I'm not ok with, and if it was up to me right now, I would never go back there. She's brainwashed to the point where she, along with everyone else in that church, thinks that the pastor is a prophet of God. He stops in the middle of sermons, and says things like "oh, thank you lord. the lord just told me..." I'm sorry but the bible says that we aren't supposed to just agree with someone because they teach the bible, we're supposed to question them, and look for answers on our own. But that church has corrupted so many people that when they read the bible, they don't even see it for what it is anymore, they read a verse, and remember what "pastor david" said about that verse. They don't make their own opinions about things, they adopt his. There is something very wrong with that man. I told my mom that I would go to that church every week, twice a week, if she let me leave after worship. Because the worship there is amazing. Everyone sings, and people close their eyes and lift their hands, and during worship is the only time I feel God's presence. After that the pastor goes up and starts talking about how God wants us to give our money so we can receive. It's all about giving so we can get. "I'm going to give $250 to the church today, because I know I need a lot of money next week, and if I give to the church, I'll receive even more." Give, receive. Give, receive. I'm sick of this fucking complicated Christianity and the corrupted views people are teaching about the bible. I refuse to take seriously any preacher who is a self-proclaimed prophet of God.

REAAL sticky icky.

So, I just got my wisdom teeth removed, and it sucks really bad. They put me on laughing gas when they were doing it, so I listened to Regina while the whole thing was going on. It was kindof funny. I'm numb in wierd spots like the roof of my mouth and my bottom lip. Oh yeah, and my cheeks. This is so wierd though. The numbing medicine they gave me is starting to wear off, so I'm hoping these pain pills that I took earlier will kick in pretty soon, because otherwise i might pass out or something. My tongue feels like it's swollen to the size of a banana and it's the wierdest thing I've ever experienced. That's not true, but that's a different story. I think I'm gonna go take a nap now.

Smeared black ink

Rachel is about to fly to Vegas for like... a week, and I don't think I'm going to get to see her before she leaves. Maybe I'll go meet her at the airport before she goes. This week has been really fun, but I'm glad that it's over. Next week is my last week at school before winter break, which is real exciting! I'm really hoping that I'll get to go on a roadtrip to the beach or somewhere before we start back school. I'm really impressed with my new Macbook, I love it! Maybe one day I'll use it for something constructive. It's really late, what am I doing awake? My sleeping schedule is way off.

For the widows in paradise

So, last night I was laying in bed trying to sleep, but I couldn't stop thinking. Mainly about happiness. I've always tried not to let circumstances determine how happy I am, but what about possessions? What if everyone in the world had everything they wanted? Would that make us all happier, or would it make things worse.
What kind of world would this be if nobody had any possessions to work for. What if everyone got everything they wanted, and then realized that they were more content just having what they had initially. What would someone think, if he received everything he had ever wanted, and then realized that he still wasn't happy.
What then? Would the world be a better place if everyone stopped working to get everything they want, and just sat down and became content with the way things are. At what point does materialism become over the top? When a whole world of people are all working to get what they want, and once they get one thing, they find another thing to work towards. Is it actually possible for a person to be completely content, wanting nothing, realizing that he doesn't have everything he could, but being ok with that?
I know that everyone has wants, but at what point does it become ridiculous? At what point do you stop and say, hey- this is enough. I've kind of strayed away from my original question, but really, what would happen to the world if everyone had only what they needed. No more, no less. Could the world be content with that.
I don't even know if I could be content with that. I'm always wanting something, something more. Have I become so brainwashed that I've started to think that the only way to be happy is through possessions? I don't want to live bound to materialism like this, I want to live, knowing that if I lost everything I own, I would still have more than most people ever dream of. I want my entire life to be measured not in what I accomplish or what I own, but who I'm friends with, and what amazing times I've had with them. I want to die with my memories, not worrying what I'm leaving behind.
What if we were all content. What would that kind of world look like?