am i wrong?

it's like glass
when we break
i wish no one in my place

i'm officially moving back in with my parents, for many reasons, but mostly all stress related. i'm sick of being broke. i don't have a full time job right now, and the job(s) i have are barely enough to be called "part time". though my rent and electricity were dirt cheap, it just got to be too much for me to handle. i can't deal with financial stress, and i can't afford to live in that house anymore. for the past few months or so i've been off and on ignoring my phone and insurance bills, and putting them off on my parents, just giving them money here and there to keep them at bay, but i can't do this anymore. i can't continue to use them like that, they're barely able to support themselves right now, much less pay for my bills too.

in a little over 6 months, i went through a lot in that house, but it just got to the point where i had to decide what i was willing to go through to remain living there, and it got to be too much. me and jamie were always getting in arguments, and it got to the point where talking things out wasn't even an option. ignore the problem for however long it takes, then just pretend like it didn't happen. that's not the recipe for a healthy friendship no matter how you look at it, even if everything does seem to be ok, there's always the feeling of walking on eggshells to avoid dispute, which in the end was inevitable, it was just a question of how long between disputes, and how much built up frustration and anger would be involved.

but ultimately, i made the decision for me. i'm moving back in with my parents so that i can really focus on myself. and god knows, i've needed to do that for a while. i need to be happy again, really truly happy. not just happy because i had a good day and i'm not fighting with my roommate. not just happy because i'm with my friends in a happy environment. and not just happy because my bag isn't empty yet. if you know me, you know that i have problems. i'm fucked up in the head, but i honestly don't think i've always been this way. i've dealt with a lot of loneliness and depression living in that house, and no matter how i try to mask it, they both seem to always find a way to poke their ugly heads back up and knock me right to the ground. i've dealt with it for far too long, and i'm ready for it to stop. i need to escape this stagnant point in my life. i'm not getting anywhere, i have no ability to save money or think long term. i can't think clearly under stress and anxiety, so for my own good, i'm leaving.

i would love to say i'm sorry that my decision to move out "fucks [you] over", but in all honesty, i am not sorry. i wish my decision would not directly affect any of my friends in any way, but i'm confident that anyone who really cares about me and considers me a friend will understand and support my motivations and intentions for doing this.