There is a feeling that you should just go home

and spend a lifetime
finding out just where that is.

These past few weeks I've been so unproductive with my life that I don't even know how to begin to try to fix things. I've slacked off in school, so I might end up taking my exam for PSDM just to get a decent final grade. I've brought up my grades in English and Marine Bio, so I'm happy with that.
But I'm really not sure where to start with the rest of my life. I am grounded for something I shouldn't have done to begin with. Because of that, I don't even get to spend time with the people who I rely on so much for my sanity. I definitely brought that on myself.
On top of that, I can't even remember the last time I practiced my audition music. There's a lot weighing on my audition, and It makes me sick when I look at how slack I've become at keeping up with it. I also have to get a job, because my parents can't really pay for anything for me anymore, just for food and a house to live in. I have more than $300 due for my truck insurance in the beginning of February, and that's less than a month away.
I haven't done anything to solve any of these issues.
I've only procrastinated, and that has done nothing but bring me to where I am right now:
Frustrated, confused, and stressed out.
I haven't even gotten any legitimate reading done lately. I need to finish reading Irresistible Revolution, which I started months ago. That also brings me to another point I should address: my relationship with God. I can't even remember the last time I prayed, or even read my bible. I have gotten so caught up in life that I've traded what should be the most important thing in my life for "more important things".
He should be the reason I wake up in the mornings, and He should be who I turn to when I don't know what to do. He should be the person I rely on more than anyone else, and He should be the person that keeps me sane.
Instead, I've chose to rely on everything else possible to keep my life in working order.
I've only lied to myself to get to where I am spiritually right now. I've grown disgusted with everything to do with God, and I think it's high time to do something about that.
So now this leaves me right back where I began, which is: where do I start?
As far as school and college goes, I have homework, so doing that would be a start, and after that I should most definitely practice, and start trying to pick out two more pieces to play for my audition. I think that after I get all of that out of the way, I should sit down with a cup of coffee and read a few chapters of Irresistible Revolution.
That sounds like a nice way to end my day.
Tomorrow I will start working on fixing everything else.

On the back of a motor bike
With your arms outstretched trying to take flight
Leaving everything behind
But even at our swiftest speed we couldn't break from the concrete
In the city where we still reside.
And I have learned that even landlocked lovers yearn for the sea like navy men.