but my head's to the wall and i'm lonely

i can't think of a better place to update my blog than the bean. i miss this place so much, because i haven't been here but once this year, and that was friday, and it doesn't really count, because i didn't stay, and nobody was here that i knew. me and eishlay just came in to get jones soda, and went back out to her car to watch requiem for a dream, which turned out to be an amazing movie, but didn't really have much of an apparent rhyme or reason behind it. actually, it confused the hell out of me. regardless, we had a good time watching it in her car in the parking lot of the old mill. we watched half here, and then went back to my house and watched the rest of it. that was the first day i got off of restriction, and it was most definitely a good day. we hung out a lot before we came here, but the important part is that we watched that movie.
on another note, my mom thinks i'm depressed because i haven't been going to church lately. i think it's because i was on restriction for all of january, and at the end of january i got sick and didn't go to school for a week. sounds reasonable, right? i honestly just don't know what it is, but i'm not going to continue posting blogs about it.
mel's coming to lexington and staying with me this friday, and i'm real excited. i haven't seen him in months, and i need some mel in my life right now.
did i mention i'm real excited?
i'm considering putting off college for a semester, or a year. it would only make my life about ten times easier. i don't know if that's a smart move, but it would take a whole lot of stress off of me. maybe i'll go to tech for a semester, or a year.

i have no idea what i'm doing with my life,
but the scary thing is,
i'm not really worried about it.
the world is not going to end if i don't go to college directly out of high school.