He is risen,

He is risen, indeed!

Today was unexplainable. I went to the shack for their easter service, and amazing doesn't even begin to describe it. god is so real to me in that place, sitting in an old house with people on couches and fold up chairs, with the water in the fishtank gurgling in the background, and a guy standing up with a bible teaching, and then eating lots of food that people cooked and brought, or cooked in the kitchen of the shack before we started, which wasn't on time, but never is, and that's ok, because it feels right not to have such a set in stone schedule for things like that. i realize that what i just wrote was probably a whole paragraph crammed into one sentence, but i'm ok with that. i've gotten through today, with an amazing peace of mind that was obviously not based on circumstances, because crazy doesn't even begin to describe the way my parents have been acting today, but it's been more based on a genuine happiness that has come from such amazing fellowship with all these wonderful people, and a strangely unfamiliar awareness of god's general existence, and presence around me, neither of which i feel comfortable being unfamiliar with, but i realize that things don't always go as planned, and even though god's presence hasn't felt very prominent in my life lately, he hasn't gone anywhere, and things are getting better.

deep breath.

today at shack, towards the end of the teaching, joey? asked us all to bow our heads, and close our eyes. and what he said next caught me completely off guard. he said, i want you all to just imagine... imagine what your life would be like right now if god hadn't played any role in your past, and hadn't affected your lifestyle or your decisions. now, i want you to think about what would fill that place that god fills in your life right now. what would be your god, or maybe has even somewhat become your god right now.
now i realize that his quote has lost some meaning and power on account of my bad memory and misquotation, and also taking into account that you're probably not sitting in the shack right now deep in meditation about the meaning of easter, and our covenant with god, ...but you get the general idea.
i just thought i would get that out there.

i will choose to remember everything good about today, and every laugh i've shared with the people around me, and every conversation that has left me deep in thought, and every word that god has spoken to me today through the most unexpected of sources. i will not let my parents being completely stupid, and heartless, cause me forget any of this.

streams of mercy never ceasing,
call for songs of loudest praise.
praise the mount, i'm fixed upon it,
mount of thy unchanging love.