it must be my time of the month...

i love my mom but she's crazy. first of all, i find it completely unreasonable that she makes me go to church. she gave me a choice of 2 churches, and i won't say much, other than that it's a lose lose situation. i'm at least allowed to go to any other church as long as i go to one of the churches she approved. now that i've found a church that i'm willing to go to, and actually want to go to, i still have to go to one of her approved churches. i can't just go to the church that i want to go to. and i wish she would just realize that, for one, the fact that i found a church that i legitimately want to go to is a huge step for me. also, the fact that i'm willing to deal with all the shit she gives me for going there, just so i can go to there, is also saying a lot. because she's trying so incredibly hard to find something wrong with the shack, and she won't let it go. i found a church that i actually want to go to every time they have an event, and not because my friends go there, it's because it's a place where i can actually feel god working. and apparently that's not enough for her.
also, she has this really bad habit of thinking that she can control any part of my life, by repeated nagging. she gets upset about things i'm putting off, and feels like it's her job to remind me to do them. even if it's something that doesn't even concern her. i'm so glad that it won't be long before i'm out of this house, because i honestly can't remain sane for much longer living with her. she doesn't realize that there's only so much she can do for me, and after that, things are my problem. college is my problem, a job is my problem, school is my problem. there's nothing she can do to make me turn in things for college on time, and there's no way she can make me get a job. as much as i want to turn in college stuff on time, and as much as i want to get a job, there's nothing she can do about it. and it almost gets to the point where i'm starting to procrastinate things, and not do things just to prove a point to her that i can handle my own life.
i'm not going anywhere with this rant, but i feel a whole hell of a lot better because of it.
god bless your soul if you read all that.