and if my lungs still let me breathe

would you be there for me?

these past few weeks have gotten progressively more stressful. my life seems just plain awful right now. orlando was horrible for the most part, but somewhat fun. bob was being a complete jerk most of the time, but not very many people agree with me on that, which makes me question whether it's just me. it kindof seems like a lot of people lately have been very short tempered with me, and quick to anger. nobody sees my point of view on things.

dear friend,
can i even call you that anymore? these past few weeks you've changed drastically. we've talked less and less, and yes, there have been times when we talked and had a good time like we used to, but for the most part that's not the case. you in particular are the person who has been the most irritable lately. you blame it on your "mood" but seriously... can you be in a bad mood for weeks on end? have i done something wrong that you're not telling me about? because you tend to do that... get mad at me for a reason that is completely obvious to you, but not so much for me, and you expect me to figure out that reason without talking to you about it. we can't have a healthy friendship if you keep on being so harsh towards me. everytime i talk to you, you have nothing good to say to me. you can't see my point of view, and you always side with whoever makes me look like the bad guy in a situation, even if i'm not in the wrong. can you be there for me? isn't that what friends are for?

since i've been grounded i've really become more and more distant from all of my "friends". it's really getting the best of me. i can only deal with so much solitude before i start to drive myself insane, and it's getting to that point now.
if there's one time in my life when i need contact with people who understand... it's now. i have about 20 days left of high school, and that's scaring me to death. i don't know what to do. i'm starting to freak out.

typically after a long blog of things that are going wrong in my life, i like to end with a paragraph about the things that are going right. jekyll and hyde performances start tomorrow, which i guess is reason to be excited. also, i'm playing the piano accompaniment for a song the chorus is playing for a competition at carowinds in a few weeks, so i get to go play music and get into carowinds for free, which is cool.

leave it to music to be the only thing going right in my life, and keeping me sane.